Faith,  Parenting

Dating for marriage

I feel like this subject might cause some controversy, but remember this is my view and I am not trying to force it on anyone. 

When I first moved to the USA, I could not help but notice that most families give an age limit for when kids are allowed to date.

Allow me to explain what I am talking about and what I am not talking about. When I refer to dating, I am referring to being in a relationship dating and merely going out as a friend. 

I don’t know if this is correct or not, however, I would like to share with you guys a different perspective. 

When growing up my mom used to tell me that I should only date when I was ready to get married. 

When I got to high school I saw a lot of my friends dating; sometimes it was hard for me because I also wanted to be in a relationship. 

However, at the same time, I understood what my mom meant, and I wanted to keep myself pure for marriage. 

A lot of people had told me I needed to enjoy my life and get out there, but in my mind, I didn’t think “dating” or having a boyfriend just to have one was enjoying my life.

I wanted to enjoy my life with my husband. 

During high school, I met a guy, and I thought maybe he was the one, and we began to date. 

I fell flat on my face and realized I was not ready to get married or to the commitment of a relationship.

I committed to God that I would not date anyone until I was sure I was ready to get married. 

Why?! I didn’t want to waste time with someone just to have someone. 

I spent too much time trying to find the right guy, instead of pursuing my relationship with Christ and allowing Him to transform me.

When I met Hunter, I knew from the moment we started to pursue a relationship I was going to marry him. 

Enough of myself! 

Here are the reasons why I think kids should only date when they are ready to get married.

Keep yourself pure. 

This one is the most obvious one. However, let me share something with you. You might be a Christian, but your hormones are not! You might have the intention of keeping yourself pure, but this is way harder than it sounds.  

God created us for an intimate relationship not only physical but also spiritual. Stop giving a little bit of yourself to every cute guy you see out there. 

Only kissing is giving a little bit of yourself. 

You don’t need to know fake money. 

I have heard so many times I can’t even count:

“For you to know who the right one is you need to ‘study’ the wrong one.”

Let me tell you something this is so wrong. When people study money so that they can recognize fake from real money, they don’t spend time studying phony money they spend time studying the real deal. 

When you know what is truly real, it is easy to see what is fake. 

Focus on Christ.

The point before this one makes us think about focusing on the real “money”. Christ is the real “money”. 

When you focus on Christ, and you love him a with all your heart, it will make it easier for you to find someone who also loves the Lord truly. 

Focusing on Christ will help you learn the real value and also realize what real characteristics like love, patience, kindness, and self-control look like. 

Once you know from the real source what you are looking for you will be able to separate the real from the fake. 

You don’t have a souls mate until you marry your soul mate.

I might crush some hearts with this one. However, I have to tell you. You don’t have a soul mate. 

Can you imagine if you only had one person in the whole world that was right for you? You would have to make sure that you were in the right place at the right time to meet the right person.

What if the only chance you had to meet this one person you were grounded by doing something wrong.

That would be awful because then you would’ve lost the chance of meeting the right guy. 

If you love Christ with all your heart, you can make things work with anyone that also loves Christ with all their hearts. 

God has gifted us with different characteristics and desires of what we look for and also who we are attracted to. But remember that is a gift He has given us. 

Stop practicing for divorce. 

One of the reasons I am not sure I am one hundred percent in this age limit thing is because a lot of time girls might only start dating because they are finally 16. 

They might not be ready, but because they finally got to the so desired age, they want to start dating. However, by doing that we are giving teenagers the opportunity to practice divorce.

Speaking from experience, if we are not ready for commitments, we shouldn’t be making one.

This might sound a little harsh. But we are allowing teenagers to go through the process of breaking up with someone else just for the fact that they feel like breaking up. 

They are not learning that to make a relationship last you have to work hard. There are little things about this other person that you might not like so much, but that is why love is sacrificial. 

Don’t beat yourself up. 

Lastly, please don’t beat yourself. It is not because you have dated and broken up with other people that it means you will get a divorce in the future. 

There is always time for you to commit to keep yourself pure and guard your heart. 

You can start today if you decide to. 

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