When I was younger, I knew a couple that whenever the wife got the chance, she would speak bad things about her husband. If the opportunity didn’t arise on its own, it was like she created an opportunity to do so.
I remember thinking to myself that I would never do that. I didn’t want to be like that; however, when I started to date my husband, I began to realize how easy it was to do the same thing. It is very easy to speak bad things about someone else so that you can make yourself look “better.”
However, when you speak bad things especially about your spouse, you are not making yourself look better. You are making both your spouse and yourself look bad.
One day I was driving with my sister in law, and she started to talk about her grandparents. She said that her grandpa once said that one thing he was very confident was that he could trust grandma to not speak bad words about him behind his back.
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I was in complete shock. I didn’t know that was something so important to a man. I knew that I had been failing on this miserably and I needed to do something.
I wanted my future husband to completely trust me to have his back and to know that I would never make him look bad.
I made a promise to myself to never speak in a way where I am purposefully trying to talk badly about my husband.
That is when I came across this verse.
Proverbs 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
I love how the Bible says that a wife is her husbands crown. I want to focus on what it means to be your husband’s crown.
My favorite accessory on my wedding day was my tiara. It made me feel beautiful and confident. I actually liked my tiara better than I liked my dress. It literally made me feel like a princess. That is what crowns are supposed to do.
When you see a picture of the queen, you know who she is, and you even respect her position. However, there is something important when she is wearing her crown. It makes a massive difference to the occasion.
Here are some lessons I have learned, and I am trying to apply to my life what it means to be my husband’s crown.
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A wife that is her husbands crown
Has a noble character
I know this one was an easy one since it comes right out of the verse. Being your husbands crown has nothing to do with your husband, but has everything to do with you.
The Bible says that a woman with noble character is more precious than rubies. Proverbs 31:10
Proverbs 31:10-31 gives a very detailed message on what a noble wife looks like. I highly recommend reading it and meditating.
Please do not feel overwhelmed by all the things that she does that you might not do. Allow the Holy Spirit to make you a woman of noble character that is fit for your husband.
Don’t speak evil about him
I believe that God sometimes allows us to go thru things in life and in our marriage so that we can help others, so here is where I draw the line.
- I only speak things that my husband has worked on
- I only speak about things that I have forgiven my husband for
- I will seek help if I can not work on my own, but I will do a heart check before talking to someone.
Speaks good things about him
The more you talk about your husband’s good quality, the more good you are going to find in him. Make sure that you speak great things about him in front of him and also when he is not around.
Your kind words will make its way around, and he will probably know. I am sure that will boost your husband’s confidence.
Let your husband know how much you believe in him. It is so easy to fall into a tendency of complaint or criticism don’t allow that to become the norm in your marriage.
There is always room for you to tell your husband about things he might need to work on, but just be careful not to spend more time criticizing than encouraging. This is definitely something I need to work more on.
When you are a good encourager, it will be easier for your husband to listen and work on the things you want.
It is ok for you to give your husband a big head.
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Serving your husband is an easy way to say you are putting him before yourself.
I know sometimes it is hard to do this in public because we worry about how other people are going to see you, but God has called us to be servants, and I believe that with your husband is the best place to start.
Prays for him
Make sure that you spend time in prayer for your husband. This is the best way you can be your husbands crown. Take time to care about your husband’s spiritual, physical and mental life.
God created us to be our husband’s crown, so it is probably a smart idea to go to him for help.
As I am growing as a wife, I am learning how hard it is to be my husband’s crown especially to be his crown when no one else but him is looking. As you grow on this too, do not feel defeated by your failures, but remember that we have a lifetime to work on becoming our husband’s crown.